That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
