God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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