Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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