im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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