hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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