god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
