Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
