she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
