I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
