just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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