dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
