can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
