Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
