did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
