we have pet lesbian snakes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
