She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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