Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
