Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
