she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
