just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
