meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
