Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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