He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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