there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
