My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm passing your future prison.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
