It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
