Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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