Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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