have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
