East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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