Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
