Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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