she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
