well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
