Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
