C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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