He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
