textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
