...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
