i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
