Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
