you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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