This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
