they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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