Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
