Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
