That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is it penis luge time yet?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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