If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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