I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
