Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
