Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
