This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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